You know you're from Texas if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You find 90 degrees F. "a little warm".
17. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
18. You know whether another Texan is from south, east, west, or north Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
19. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
20. Going to Wal-Mart is favorite past time known as "Goin' Wal-Martin" or "Off to Wally World".
21. Describe the first cool snap (below 50 degrees) as good chili weather.
22. A carbonated drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a "Coke", regardless of brand or flavor.

You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Texas!